Bingo Bully...

Last night I went to play bingo with my friend Judy. We do this on rare occasions because I rarely ever win. I can't see losing all that money, that often, so I only go when I feel prepared to lose. But that's not why I'm writing about it.

A woman seated next to me had purchased a set of playing cards for her brother who came in late. He brought his teenage daughter and she was there helping him play. The daughter started to grow tired so the father decided to leave and take her home. He gave his cards to his sister to finish playing for him. Everyone was teasing her when she started to win a few games, asking her if she were going to share with him. Of course not she said. He left them. But...that's still not why I brought this bingo excursion up.

When the trade off happened, it reminded me of a time when I was playing bingo with my elderly Aunt at the local Eagles club. You don't have to be a member to play their bingo games. At the Eagles club, in a separate room, there is a bar. Sometimes, when it gets rowdy in the bar area, you can hear the ruckus in the bingo room. This night that I speak of was one of those nights. A few games into the evening a woman came and sat down next to us. She was friendly with us and we talked a bit or two about bingo, etc. Nothing elaborate. A few games later it got quiet over in the bar area and a man came over who had been in the bar and sat down across from her. I gathered that they were married. He started to grumble and complain. Couldn't they go home now? Did she have to play bingo? He wanted to leave and wanted her to stop playing bingo so he could go home. I could tell that she didn't want to leave but she sweetly agreed and handed us her cards to play. I could tell that if she hadn't complied with his request...it would have got ugly at home. How do I know this? Because, I know the signs having grown up in an alcoholic family. All hell would break loose if Dad didn't get HIS way.

Yesterday, I was watching Dr. Phil. I am not a Dr. Phil fan but sometimes his show is on in the background of my day. It was touching on a woman who felt she had to give in to her husband's cheating ways. They brought the husband out and within about a minute the husband had stormed off the stage cause he didn't like what was being said about him. Duh.....anyway...the point was made by Dr. Phil that this husband was acting childlike. That children are interested in having fun and not responsibility. Made sense. Here this guy was acting like a petulant child because the errors of his ways were being pointed out. Granted it was in front of millions of people but heck...what did he expect.

The point of this blog....yes, there is one....is that we should never give in to a bully. Even if that bully is our husband. Relationships like these are emotionally draining. Forever giving them what they want and you receiving nothing is damaging. Keeping the peace all the time is debilitating. Trust me...I've seen it happen within my own family and my own life. If it's happening to you...you are enabling it. You don't think highly enough of yourself. Your needs don't matter and take a low billing on the totem pole of importance. These people don't change....only you can change. Do it now before you lose yourself in it. You know who you are.....

Blessings...Terri